All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's on the porch naked. Help.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
