Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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