You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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