Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
