And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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