Betty ford says i'm here all night
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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