I have demons in me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
