remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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