awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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