Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
