I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
