Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
