the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
