I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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