): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
