his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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