Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize