I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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