What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
