Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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