I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i dont even know how to be here
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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