you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
