I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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