i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
