What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I hate all girls vehemently.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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