ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
