I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
