your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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