Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
