What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
