i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
