uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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