There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
