Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I smell stomach acid.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize