Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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