I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
