Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
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