so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
