She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
