Cold hands, warm shart.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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