so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
