You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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