David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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