Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
