Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
