i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
