Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
