so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
