i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
