turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Shame - the story of my life.
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