so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
