She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
