Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize