Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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