toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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