Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
