I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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