Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
