That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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