Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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