1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
